Oh Hooray, Another Jets Season


Finally! Finally finally finally, the NFL is back. And that means another season of Jets futility. Now as you can probably tell from my opening statement, I’m a pretty optimistic guy. I love the Jets, I really do, but this (again) won’t be their year.

Firstly, that schedule is goddamn ridiculous. Whoever decided that schedule was the one the Jets are going to play must have been bullied by a Jets fan in their youth. Or maybe it was a Patriots fan, I don’t know. What I do know is that whomever decided this stupid thing need to be fired because well, they’re just mean. I mean come on, 5 play off caliber teams in the first 6 weeks? Plus Buffalo, who Skinny Rex  gets his players to play like rabid dogs every game against the Jets because he’s pissed off he got exposed as being nothing more as a glorified defensive coordinator ( side note; with his giant brother now coaching with him, how many pounds does Skinny Rex put back on his frame? I’m going with at least 50.)

Secondly, the fact that Geno Smith is still on the team infuriates the hell out of me. Because you know that for all of the scrambling  and diving head first Fitzpatrick does, he’s going to get injured. And guess who the backup quarterback is? Yep, Mr. I forgot how time zones work bleeping Smith. So they’ll be stuck with Geno for at least one game this season, and with the very real possibility they start out 0-6 even without Geno in there, if Fitzpatrick has to miss extended time, that’s it. Forget about this season.

I honestly do not understand why Geno is on the roster right now. You will never ever hear a NFL analyst say “Geno Smith was the reason the Jets won today” I guarantee that will never come out of anyone’s mouth and if it does, I’ll eat a fucking shoe. No, more than likely, those same analysts will repeat something along the lines of “The offense couldn’t get it going today.”or “The game was over after Geno Smith threw his third pick 6 of the day.”

So yeah Geno sucks. But even more frustrating about the fact that he’s on the team is that as the backup, he’s potentially taking away reps from Bryce Petty, who played pretty well in the preseason, and who needs reps in actual NFL games. We already know the type of player that Geno is, and that’s a terrible one. I’d rather burn like the dumpster fire this season could be with Bryce as the teams QB because at some point, you have to get a look at the kid right? I mean he could be terrible, but you have to at least find out.

Thirdly, and I don’t know if anyone has noticed this…. The Jets don’t currently have a right tackle. They are sans tackle. That’s an issue. I don’t know how else to put it. Figure it out Bowles.

So yeah. That’s the season in a nut shell. Worst case scenario, Geno plays the majority of the season, causing Brandon Marshall to lose his shit yet again, making life hell for everyone on the offensive side of the ball, which leads to Matt Forte publicly  declaring “I didn’t sign up for this garbage” which causes a bunch of hoopla, that will die down for a week or two until he’s benched cause he plays like garbage, and then Todd Bowles has to answer questions about if Forte’s public outcry led to his demotion, so then Bowles is frazzled and doesn’t do his best coaching the defense, which is what he’s known for, and because of this the defense in unprepared and comes out flat like they did against the Eagles last year, so they give up the most points ever in the history of the NFL, which leads Woody Johnson to to fire Bowles, so then Bowles gets rehired in Buffalo cause Rex got fired for again promising that his team would make the playoffs and then Todd Bowles ruins the Jets playoff chances for the next decade.

Best case scenario? Wild card. Contending for a wild card.




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