Today is the Day.


Finally! The day is here. The Hilldog Vs. The Centipede. The most anticipated debate in the history of this country and one that is sure to shatter TV viewership. Unfortunately , the crux of this anticipation lies in the average citizen’s hope that this debate turns into something not far from what South Park anticipated it to be many months back.

That is a problem.

Today’s society is one that sits on the verge of a technical revolution. One where almost all goods and services are available to buy at the click of a mouse, and where governments are actively planning for a world with self-driving cars. While an automated world undoubtedly has its merits (show me a person who wouldn’t want a self-driving car on a Saturday night and I’ll show you a damn communist), what is sure to be lost over time is a sense of responsibility and mental faculties.

As these mental faculties decline, so does the brain’s need for stimuli. Much like an overweight man needs only a half mile run before he is winded, the brain will only need the minimum amount of creativity before it is entertained. We’ve already seen the beginning of this phenomena in today’s entertainment with shows like The Big Bang Theory and the Kardashians dominating ratings.

With a vast number of tonight’s viewers looking for the same type of entertainment from political discourse as they get from the aforementioned shows, it seems we are entering Idiocracy territory. A place where we look for the easy way out at every turn and become engaged with the simplest examples of entertainment available.

So please, no matter your political leanings, please do not go along with this behavior. Don’t take a shot every time Trump says China, talks about his proposed wall, his multi-billion dollar companies (of which there are numerous, numerous) the length of his fingers, his beautiful wife or how he’s going to make America great again. Please don’t chug a beer every time he talks about Hillary’s emails or Benghazi, how he thinks she somehow single handily wrecked New York while she was Senator, her pants suit or mentions how her husband cheated on her. How he brought one of Bill’s mistress to the debate, or how he’s embarrassed that his beautiful daughter Ivanka is friends with that pig headed daughter of Hillary Clintons (Please don’t chug two beers if he mentions how he thinks Bill isn’t even the father).

Please don’t take a drink every time Clinton mentions how Trump is dangerously unqualified, how he employees illegal workers, his Trump University lawsuit, how he hates Mexicans, veterans, is sexist, racist and how he scares the rest of the civilized world. Don’t feel the need to take a sizeable drink from your wine glass every time Clinton mentions how Trump’s plan to remove every illegal worker is not possible, how his megalomania would consume his presidency, or how many generals would quit if he were elected.

During the election season, it sometimes becomes hard to differentiate  between what is supposed to be entertainment, and what is not. By not lining up shots of Jack, Evan Williams, Smirnoff, Svedka (for the ladies), Fireball, Bailey’s, Jamison or Patron, you can do your part. By not going out right this very second to your local grocer and buying  a case of Bud, Sam Adams, Heineken, Miller, Coors, Natty, Woodchuck, Strongbow and the like, you can set an example for the rest of your fellow Americans.

But if all this stuff happens? Drink as much as you want, we’re fucked anyways.


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